So here I am, week 2 of a preconception intensive diet. And I am realizing why more and more people never start to make major changes in their lives. There are so many mental and emotional challenges and blocks to health. We have to overcome so many things to embrace a health lifestyle.
I have had people say oh, I could never eat soup 3 times a day (Disclaimer: the plan does not put me on soup 3 times a day for the rest of my life, it happens in stages of adding in different foods to help heal my gut). Acting like it is the most horrible, worst idea ever known to mankind. Instead of considering the internal benefits of this lifestyle and plan, people are considering their cravings and taste buds. I would prefer to consider the concept: "internal bliss." What does it mean to have internal bliss?
Internal bliss would mean to me complete balance and synergy of body, soul, and spirit. Each aspect of my life blossoming in beautiful health and life. Feeling comfortable in my skin, in my body, and feeling like I can overcome any obstacle that comes my way.
The road to come to internal bliss in my life is the most challenging road, the most narrow road and includes the most obstacles, distractions, and pain. However, it also contains the most rewards and the most benefits to living a full life.
As I said in the beginning of my blog, I know why people don't ever start. When you start, you have all the obstacles that begin to come up: a fear of failure, a fear that it is just not working, procrastination, perfectionism, sabotage, and those horrible habits of emotional eating.
Last week, my favorite shirt snagged on something and ripped. My initial reaction, to go to the pantry and have a chunk of dark chocolate. Now that is a healthy habit to continue with (sarcasm included..). I am watching myself and seeing myself struggle from so many angles as I change my diet and lifestyle (yet again, for the 20th time…).
Also, last week, I slept for 5 hours during the day while I was dealing with a healing reaction of sorts. It felt crazy and wonderful at the same time. I knew that my body was dealing with some sort of healing process and that it was necessary to listen to my body and submit to the healing process. Thankfully it happened on my day off and it all worked out. I have had moments of feeling tired and listless and moments of feeling wonderful and satisfied internally.
With every moment, I keep in mind that it is worth it. Beyond the scale, beyond my self-image, and vanity, my body is going to create the most beautiful and miraculous thing every known to man: a baby. And this is precious and sacred. It has to be worth the efforts, the ups and downs and the mini failures that bring me back to that moment that I decided to begin and that I was going to complete my goal of preparing my body for pregnancy.
I keep coming back to that moment that I decided. That to begin the journey of self-sacrifice and love as a mother, I would begin with sacrificing my whims and desires to the strategy and plan of pursuing internal bliss.
